This is the "Caregiver FOG" that causes so many caregivers to get hurt. We spend a lot of time on this during the radio show, in my books, and when I speak. It's all about slowing down and better positioning ourselves to function safely as caregivers.
More than twenty years ago, I met Rev. Jim Bachmann, and my life is better for the friendship. Although Gracie and I recently moved from Tennessee to Montana, Jim will always be my pastor and friend. His ministry in my life helped chart the course of our family caregiver outreach.
In this interview from our broadcast on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel, i asked Jim to share his thoughts about a trend of many younger clergy shying away from hospital and visitation ministry.
With nearly 40 years of ministry, Jim's lengthy experience brought great insights to this discussion and helped illuminate a path of Gospel ministry that many young seminarians might not consider.
In light of a recent suicide by a well-known minister who struggled with depression, we also discussed the fragility and needs of ministers.
Closing the conversation, Jim (an avid hymn-lover) quoted from one we both love:
“The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no, never, no, never forsake!”
- How Firm A Foundation
Jim is the senior minister of Stephens Valley Church in Nashville, TN.
He has two parishoners way out in the mountains of Southwest Montana who still calls him Pastor.
At the end of the interview ...Jim mentioned he'd like to travel to Montana, and asked if we could help him find a horse.
"We're waiting on you, Pastor!"
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From Sept 8, 2019 HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel.
SUNDAYS AT 6 PM EASTERN
Caller from Sunday's HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel shared how a tip from the show helped her recently.
Her ex-husband requires care, and she gave her son a respite in caring for him, but even through his dementia ...he still remembered to hate her.
Able to laugh, while learning to "bite her tongue and like the taste of blood," she shared how a small tip (the Delta Doctrine) from the show helped her get through an uncomfortable situation.
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Yes, she's had 80 surgeries and both legs amputated ...so you'd think horseback riding would be off limits for Gracie.
She doesn't ride anymore (although she insists she will again!), but this hilarious moments reveals the biggest reason why!
Listen to this clip from Hope for the Caregiver heard on Sunday 9/9/2019 on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel (131)
Sponsored by STANDING WITH HOPE
From HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER: Sept 9, 2019
These are all statements made by all caregivers at some point, and, sadly, all too frequently. The feeling of obligation drives us to push ourselves to dangerous stress levels for our health, finances, and emotional stability. The way we can push back is to recognize that we don’t own the problem. Think about it, did you cause the problem? Can you fix this issue?
Feeling obligated can quickly take us into resentment, which will only compromise our ability to live healthy lives, as well as serve as healthy caregivers. In reality, as caregivers, we’re stewards and powerless to fix the suffering of our loved ones. Instead of owning the problem, we can instead own the concept of stewardship. Doing so frees us to accept we are doing the best we can with what we have.
Furthermore, adopting an attitude of stewardship, helps us breathe easier and treat ourselves with mercy—all of which equips us to be a better caregiver.
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Marlene in Indiana struggles as a caregiver for her husband who has lung cancer. Although she cares for her husband, she also helps take care of other family members.
Marlene is living in the fear of tomorrow, next week, and next year.
We helped point her back to today and a path towards help for her.
How are YOU feeling?
