Hope for the Caregiver

The DELTA DOCTRINE for Caregivers

The DELTA DOCTRINE For Caregivers

While flying Delta Airlines to Atlanta one day, I discovered that flight attendants state the best advice for caregivers – all day long:

“In the unlikely event of the loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling.  Securely place your mask on first, before helping anyone next to you who may need assistance.”

That small directive, what I call “The Delta Doctrine,” contains applicable wisdom for so many life circumstances - but probably none as poignant as for those of us serving as a caregiver for a chronically ill/disabled loved one.

Compassion and love often mistakenly lead us to hold our own breath - while trying to help someone else breath, but once we make that decision, it is only a matter of time before we find ourselves gasping for air.  If we are unable to breathe, how can we help anyone else?

The Attendance Record of Caregivers

Caregivers Performance vs. Attendance Record

All too often, Caregivers judge themselves mercilessly over their performance.  With a supremely critical eye, we  berate ourselves, while also allowing others to do the same.  If we choose to judge ourselves, however, let's at least be fair and judge ourselves on the whole.  Part of that is to fairly look at our attendance record—which is nearly perfect.  We keep showing up!  What is that worth to our loved ones?  It is certainly worth taking a moment to acknowledge the extraordinary commitment and resolve of caregivers.

Caregiver Identity Loss

The Lost Identity of Caregivers

The loss of our own voice, our melody—our identity, is a landmine with disastrous effect. That’s why I spend so much time on this issue for my fellow caregivers. We avoid this by reclaiming our identity and acknowledging our feelings out loud.  Using our own voices we can express, “I’m tired,” “I’m lonely,” “I’m scared,” “I’m angry,” or “I’m weary,” and seeking the help we need.

Caregivers can also reclaim healthy identities by cultivating trusted and appropriate relationships.  In those relationships, caregivers can safely express feelings and challenges with someone who understands their needs. Not limited to just friendships, a relationship with a trained mental health counselor can help sort through issues.

Dentistry Isn't Expensive—Neglect Is!

In my book, 7 Caregiver Landmines and How You Can Avoid Them, the first landmine is Ignoring Personal Health Needs.  Sadly, all too many caregiver put off preventive care services as they care for a vulnerable loved one.  Dentistry care is one of those important health needs for caregivers.

It's not just about a pretty smile

While a lovely smile is important for self-image, healthy gums are critical for the health of the body.   For a host of reasons, people put off proper dental care, and caregivers are no exception. It not simply the caregivers dental needs that neglected.  Taking loved ones with special needs or illnesses to the dentist can become traumatic events.  Yet, with all that, a trip to the dentist can prevent serious and expensive issues down the road.

"Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you!"  —Soupy Sales

Dr. Byron Bush joined me in the studio for this show to discuss dental hygiene for caregivers and their loved ones.  Practicing dentistry for three decades, Dr. Bush brings a wealth of understanding to the discussion. Furthermore, Dr. Bush is my family's dentist.  Over the years, he's shown great care to Gracie and he and his staff work hard to help make dental trips easier for her. According to Dr. Bush, and from a report from the Mayo Clinic, below are only a few of the issues that can result from a lack of proper dental care.

Medical issues that gum disease can cause  (Source Colgate.com)

• Cardiovascular disease: In a nutshell, this means heart disease. The bacteria from inflammation of the gums and periodontal disease can enter your bloodstream.  Once there, it can travel to the arteries in the heart and cause atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). Atherosclerosis causes plaque to develop on the inner walls of arteries which thicken and this decreases or may block blood flow through the body. This can cause an increased risk of heart attack or stroke. The inner lining of the heart can also become infected and inflamed—a condition known as endocarditis.
• Dementia: The bacteria from gingivitis may enter the brain through either nerve channels in the head or through the bloodstream. As a result, this might even lead to the development of Alzheimer's disease.
• Respiratory infections: The Journal of Periodontology warns that gum disease could cause you to get infections in your lungs, including pneumonia. (Breathing in air passing over infected gums and teeth over a period of time.)
• Diabetic complications: Inflammation of the gum tissue and periodontal disease can make it harder to control your blood sugar and make your diabetes symptoms worse. Diabetes sufferers are also more susceptible to periodontal disease, making proper dental care even more important for those with this disease.

For more information, visit www.promisedental.com or call Dr. Byron Bush for all your dentistry needs at 615 401-1103  

 

About Peter Rosenberger

Peter Rosenberger, a thirty-year caregiver, is the author of Hope for the Caregiver.   He recently release his new CD, SONGS FOR THE CAREGIVER.

The SPARE Me Health Care Reform Discussion

A Caregiver's View Of the Healthcare Debate

The wall of noise from Washington over the healthcare debate continues to bombard America’s senses and sensibilities. With President Obama’s plan clearly circling the drain, Democrats still seem willing to defend the indefensible. An admission of specific mistakes while offering concessions on their part appears unlikely.

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Click the play button to hear the monologue from Peter's Radio Show for Family Caregivers.  (Listen for Peter's hilarious Trump impersonation, as well!)

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While the Democrats refuse to own the problem, and instead serve as political roadblocks, the GOP shares culpability. The Republicans’ appear bent on proving that their proficiency to protest eclipses their abilities to produce results. Once again, America's seems at the mercy of political leaders who rail against a system they perpetuate.

"During the last eight years of complaining, did no Republican draft some sort of plan and stick it in a drawer in case, you know ...one day they won an election?"

With equal fervor, both sides portray themselves as knowledgeable about healthcare. Yet, little seems forthcoming regarding their specific experiential qualifications of navigating a system they seek to alter or impose. In the three decades serving as my wife’s caregiver, I’ve dealt with virtually every aspect of the healthcare system.  Engaging more than 80 physicians,7 insurance companies, and 12 hospitals provides ample experience navigating the system.  Furthermore, medical bills soaring past $10 million developed a skill-set of resourcefulness.

OBAMACARE Forced Me to Forage For Another Plan—TWICE!

When the ACA launched, my insurer of ten years phased out my plan—while offering a more expensive one.  After purchasing an ACA-compliant plan (hardly “affordable”), my dismay compounded as my new group quickly left of the ACA. This left me to forage again for quality healthcare coverage. While my wife’s medical needs remained stable, I—like many caregivers—struggled with my own healthcare concerns. The immense crisis of tending to a disabled loved one’s ongoing needs has a way of consuming a caregiver’s resources and attention; consequently, caregivers often make do with the scraps.

A Simmering Issue

Currently, more than 65 million Americans serve as family caregivers. In addition, the caring for the massive aging baby-boomer population is driving that number higher.  According to AARP  17% of caregivers consider their own health at risk.  Furthermore, 72% of caregivers don't see their own physician regularly.  What happens to the patient when (not if) the health of those caregivers prohibit them from caring for their loved ones? As our country wrestles with a healthcare plan, a strong emphasis must address preventive care—with a specific targeting of caregivers.  Families with special needs children require consideration, as do those caring for loved ones with traumatic brain injuries.  In addition, those caring for vulnerable loved one with disability, as well as the aging are also at risk for high-stress related health issues. Those concerns, and a lifetime of experience prompts several key questions as Congress develops a plan.  Whether they either fix the ACA, or repeal and replace it, the hope is that somehow, they can put aside their  self-interest agendas, and focus on practical help for the people the claim to represent and serve.  With the political/media acrimony and resolve to never compromise on their ideology, the outlook is bleak for our country. At one time, parents used to say no to children—paving the way for those children to become adults.  Children hate limits, and it's up to adults to instruct and lead until they can put limits on themselves. When adults fail, children fail more. The same principle applies to an entitlement driven society.

Is it Sensible?

A healthcare plan requires a healthy dose of common sense. If people make unhealthy choices, why must their consequences be dispersed to others? Rather than compensating for people’s lifestyle choices, we can refuse to reward them and, when necessary, levy consequences. At the same time, there should be financial incentives toward healthier choices for subscribers. I currently subscribe to a plan that does that very thing.

The Right to Healthcare?

Additionally, the American people seem also to disagree on whether healthcare is a right or not. People who voluntarily sacrificed money, time, and labor to learn skills form the medical field. Must their profession be singled out from other professions catering to the necessity?  How about food production? Grocery stores? Plumbing? As a society, we have commissioned our government to subsidize health are for the poor, but to equate it as a right would ultimately mean potentially subsidizing every American, along with the training of every healthcare worker. Even taking all the wealth from the “one-percenters” would only delay the inevitable collapse. It is simply unsustainable. Must potential surgeons, nurses, lab technicians, etc, sacrifice and train for a profession that they must offer? Furthermore, how can the industry attract the best and brightest if government officials are the ones dictating the worth of their specialized skills and services?

If healthcare is a right:

• Is everyone entitled to any and all medical services they desire?
• Who makes that decision?
• Can medical providers can only charge what the collective agrees to?
• Will we get medicine at the lowest bidder?  Is that a good thing?
• Do surgeons who receive less compensation make better surgeons?

In vying for votes and political power, Washington seems to have corrupted the healthcare industry, and now the “bill is due.” Sensible often means sacrifice—which should look like policy-makers doing what is best for America, not for their career or party. It should look like America tightening its belt and making hard decisions.

"Pre-existing conditions are a way of life for me, and have been for three decades.  I took jobs, carried two policies, and made sacrifices to cover it.  Now, I'm asked to subsidize people unwilling to do the same."

We either sacrifice now and accept limitations on services and amenities, or we can expect massive consequences that dwarf what we currently face.

Is Portable?

The vast population of aging baby boomers means an increasing number of families are stepping up to care for elderly loved ones. If a person’s healthcare coverage isn’t portable, the “out of network” issues serve as additional burdens. Crossing state lines to purchase and use healthcare coverage should not be an issue for caregivers. A portable plan promotes competition, which always benefits consumers.

Is it easily Accessible?

Healthcare coverage must provide something of value to subscribers. Forcing someone to purchase a healthcare plan that essentially only covers the person in the event of a zombie apocalypse is a smokescreen, because in reality, non-users end up paying for users. A quality plan needs to be accessible to all who desire to use it, without unreasonable barriers to coverage, and it should include a heavy focus on primary- and preventive-care services.

Will it be Reliable?

Families such as mine, who have diligently planned and budgeted for healthcare coverage years in advance, are put under great duress when political agendas disrupt our best-laid strategies. We caregivers, who already live in a realm where there is little margin for error, have enough on our plates without Washington imposing its limited understanding of a caregiver’s world. It’s time to unite all the players in creating a bedrock plan—one that will garner confidence and peace of mind because of its effectiveness.

A Mess of Their Own Making

The horrendous roll-out of the ACA, along with soaring medical costs, lack of access to insurance, and the exodus of trusted carriers is bad enough.  Not to be outdone, the disorganization, infighting, and poor leadership within Republican ranks compounded the problems.  Add partisan foolishness to the mix, and it’s easy to erosion of confidence from the American people.

Is it Economical?

With America $20 trillion in debt, solid financial sense must guide the conversation. We know that unhealthy caregivers make poor caregivers. Likewise, an unhealthy country is hardly up to the task of caring for its citizens, much less those beyond its borders. Imposing an costly, ideology-driven, healthcare plan on US citizens will only result in failure. We have simply to look at the Affordable Care Act to see evidence. While the ACA incorporates some good ideas, the current model contains too many subsidy paths. With America’s debt load, how can our country sustain these subsidies? Quite simply, it cannot. For caregivers (and economies) to remain healthy, we must accept what is—and start from there. A caregiver with any longevity can testify that, while we cannot always create more resources, we can learn to be innovative and resourceful. America as a country needs a healthcare direction in which economic limitations override political agendas.

Sensible, Portable, Accessible, Reliable, Economical (SPARE)

These simple guidelines can help us find our way through the quagmire, while also equipping consumers with a tool by which to measure the quality of Washington’s work. The circumstances we caregivers face each day are often grim and heartbreaking. Rather than trying to feel better about our circumstances, we must learn to be better as we endure these challenges. American history is filled with individuals who emerged to provide true leadership in the face of daunting challenges. Our national opportunity in this current healthcare crisis is to avoid the enticing trail of “feeling better.”  Rather, we can choose to put our collective shoulders to the wheel and, together, become better.

Music and Memory

Memory ...is the Diary We All Carry With Us. —Oscar Wilde

When's the last time you listened to a song, and it instantly took you back in time? Hymns, concerts, favorite TV theme songs can all instantly engage our hearts and transport us. Thanks to Music & Memory, the power of music to inspire, move, and connect with listeners has taken a new step.

"I want a new drug!' Huey Lewis and the News

Using customized playlists, music engages those struggling with dementia, memory loss, and other cognitive impairments. Music & Memory offers a tool that has reduced pharmaceuticals, no risk of "over-dosing," and available without a prescription! The therapeutic benefits of music provides a critical help for not only patients, but can provide a welcomed respite for exasperated caregiver.

"It's very individualized and person-centered," shares Deborah Ferris, Regional Director, Southeastern US. Appearing on my show recently, Deb explained that, "...each individual has a music fingerprint; no two are alike." In addition, she added why Music & Memory is so effective. "It's because it's about not only identifying which song, but also which artists. It has to be artist specific—just the way we all like to hear our music."

Deborah Ferris' passion for program is personal. Her own mother’s reaction to personalized music over the course of her sixteen-year Alzheimer’s journey, fuels Deborah's drive. Deborah knows first-hand what it’s like to run out of ideas and hope for any way to truly enhance someone’s quality of life. Family and caregivers are so often in need of respite and a way to create new and joyful memories. A collection of music that holds personal meaning for an individual can open up a world of benefits that are beyond imagination for everyone.

Bringing a powerful testimonial, Music & Memory client, Steve McGee shared the impact on his father. Growing emotional, Steve relayed personally watching his father regain memory through using this innovative tool.

After being as skeptical as I was, it's just amazing how music can benefit the families and loved ones with Alzheimer's and dementia. Steve McGee, client

Sundowning, preparing for meals, getting calmed in order to go to bed, represent just a few of the scenarios this program helps. As a pianist for nearly fifty years, I understand the power music to heal, inspire, and uplift. In addition to all that, the power of music now has a strategic use for those who may often seem unreachable. For more information, visit MusicandMemory.org

 

Peter Rosenberger, a thirty-year caregiver, is the author of Hope for the Caregiver.  In addition, Peter hosts a weekly radio show for caregivers on 1510 WLAC, Broadcast Sunday's at 3 PM CST.  Furthermore, the program is streamed through IHEART, and the Podcast can be accessed here.e president of Standing With Hope.  

The non-profit ministry has two program areas:  a prosthetic limb outreach to amputees in West Africa, and an outreach to family caregivers.

In addition to his books, Peter also recently release his new CD, SONGS FOR THE CAREGIVER.  

Click for Books and Music from Peter Rosenberger

 

Why Regions Bank Branches Are Autism Friendly Places

Did you know our branch is autism-friendly?—Regions Bank

During a recent trip to my local bank, I noticed signs displayed stating the branch is autism friendly. Displaying a message so prominently indicated a story behind the campaign.  With that in mind, I invited a representative from Regions Bank to appear on my show for family caregivers. Kathy Lovell manages the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) program for Regions, and she called the show from Birmingham to share the story. (Click the play button to hear the interview)

As the ADA manager, I look for ways that Regions can enhance the banking experience within the disability community. Recognizing the growing need for improving Autism awareness, because 'You don't know what you don't know' about Autism, we developed a company wide initiative aimed at better accommodating the needs of individuals on the spectrum, as well as their family members and caregivers. -Kathy Lovell

According to the CDC, approximately 1 in 68 children are identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

Regions incorporates special training for employees, as well as an identified "quiet area" for families.  These quiet areas become havens for families in the event of an episode. Furthermore, Regions also provides "sensory packs" containing stress balls, sunglasses, and noise-cancelling earbuds.

"This goes beyond customer service, this is a gift."

The fear of an episode causes many families dealing with autism to dread public places. Lights, noises, and other environmental factors can all contribute to an episode. With a trained and prepared environment, Regions clearly communicates a sensitivity to the needs of their customers.  According to Mrs. Lovell, Regions isn't stopping there.  From working with the hearing impaired to the visually impaired, Regions continues exploring additional ways to assist customers with disabilities and their families with innovative ways to conduct their financial business.  As a result of these efforts, more individuals, and their caregivers, enjoy a smoother, safer, and friendlier banking experience.

"These initiatives support two of our core values:  'Doing what is right and making life better!'"  Kathy Lovell, ADA Manager, Regions Bank

For more information on Regions' accessibility programs, click here.  

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Peter Rosenberger, a thirty-year caregiver, is the author of Hope for the Caregiver.  In addition, Peter hosts a weekly radio show for caregivers on 1510 WLAC, Broadcast Sunday's at 3 PM CST.  Furthermore, the program is streamed through IHEART, and the Podcast can be accessed here.e president of Standing With Hope.  

The non-profit ministry has two program areas:  a prosthetic limb outreach to amputees in West Africa, and an outreach to family caregivers.

In addition to his books, Peter also recently release his new CD, SONGS FOR THE CAREGIVER.