Hope for the Caregiver

Caregivers and the No Huddle Offense

As a caregiver, do you ever feel you are pushing yourself in the "No Huddle Offense" and not taking time to build a plan - all while the "clock" serves as your enemy? 

Well, I know I do. So I talked about this in today's episode. 

 

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The Terrifying Parts Are True

I like to talk with fellow caregivers who keep working and doing what brings oxygen to their souls - while caregiving. Such is the case with award-winning novelist Ethan Burroughs. Back with another geopolitical thriller, Burroughs draws upon his extensive career in the middle east to reveal things that will astonish and captivate readers from the West - particularly those struggling to understand today's headlines and the extensive turmoil in the Middle East.

Lifelong friend and a fellow South Carolinian, I asked Ethan to join me on the program and share his incredible books and his extensive grasp of Middle Eastern history and culture. Captivated by his books, I asked him, "Which parts are fiction and which are true?" 

His frank answer, "The Terrifying Parts Are True!" 

www.ethanburroughs.com 

Ethan T. Burroughs has dedicated much of the last two decades to exploring the Middle East and slowly unraveling its mysteries. His encounters have taken him to Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Israel, and the Palestinian Territories. He has studied the history, faith, cuisine, language, and culture of the lands which continue to grab our headlines as we search for an elusive peace. He has enjoyed spending significant time with characters similar to those depicted in this account, including our unsung patriots in the Departments of State and Defense. He is a U.S. Army veteran, former teacher, healthcare, business, political consultant, and aspiring storyteller.

 

They Raised Two Children With Huntington’s Disease

May Is HD Awareness month, and our guests for this episode were Drs. Elton and Laquita Higgs. The couple adopted a little girl many years ago - who developed Huntington's Disease (HD). One of the most horrific diseases on the planet, HD eventually cost their daughter her life - but not before she had a daughter who also developed the genetic (and terminal) illness.

Listen to their inspiring and insightful story - from their book, SHATTERED DREAMS - BUT HOPE: Encouragement for Caregivers of Huntington’s Disease and Other Progressive Illnesses  

For more information on HD, please visit HDSA.org (The Huntington’s Disease Society of America)

Not Making It Worse Counts As A Win

As caregivers, we regularly feel intense pressure to fix or achieve. Yet, despite our best efforts, many of the circumstances we face seem unyielding. Our self-judgment over things beyond our control often leads to an incorrect verdict of failure.

Taking a step away from the caregiving world, consider the “Slap heard around the world” at the 2022 Academy Awards. When Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock on stage in front of a global audience, Chris Rock responded with extraordinary restraint. Maintaining his composure, Chris Rock continued with the show and walked away with nearly universal approval because he didn’t worsen an awful situation. Not only did he handle himself well on stage, but in the ensuing media frenzy, he remained quiet about the event. Rock chose to address the incident on his timing – when temperatures cool.

As caregivers, we regularly face situations that often tempt or provoke us to intense emotional reactions. Taking a page from Chris Rock, we can incorporate a simple strategy into often uncontrollable experiences: Not making it worse, counts as a win!

When we restrain our emotions and master our response to any given circumstances, we live a bit calmer and can add more victories to the “win column.”

“Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint.” - Daniel Webster

 

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The Trauma of Veterans, Active Duty, And First Responders

In my recent interview with Mighty Oaks Foundation's Jeremy Stalnecker, we discussed ways the organization is addressing the intense needs of those who wore - and wear - the uniform. https://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/

"The Mighty Oaks Foundation is committed to serving the brokenhearted by providing intensive peer-based discipleship through a series of programs, outpost meetings, and speaking events. Our Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs hosts such Men, Women, and Marriage Advance Programs at multiple locations nationwide. The Warriors who attend are fully sponsored for training, meals, and lodging needs to ensure that upon arrival to the ranch, each Warrior is focused solely on his or her recovery and identifying purpose moving forward."

Fret Not

Fretting Is Exhausting

My high school chemistry teacher’s name was, no kidding, Mr. Faile. While a hilarious and exceptional teacher, he made the dreaded (for some) class even more daunting by posting a sign over the chalkboard that read, “Flunk Now and Avoid The Rush.”

For those born after 1980, a chalkboard was an ancient education device that doubled as a screeching torture machine.

That sign still sticks with me, and I’ve appropriated the message into other areas of my life – particularly as a caregiver. Accepting reality and not delaying the inevitable becomes a path of wisdom rather than a depressing conclusion. As caregivers, we place unreasonable demands on ourselves to achieve or alter things we cannot change.

Despite extensive striving and colossal anxiety, caregivers will inevitably “flunk” at changing most of what we worry about. Embracing that premise allows greater peace of mind today.

I passed high school chemistry (barely), but Mr. Faile’s most important lesson to me had nothing to do with formulas and equations. A simple sign meant in jest communicated a greater truth that still helps bleed off stress – a lifetime later.

Rest now and avoid the crash. We face challenges better when not exhausted by fretting.

“The pitcher has got only a ball. I've got a bat. So the percentage in weapons is in my favor and I let the fellow with the ball do the fretting.” – Hank Aaron

 

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Helping Struggling Soldiers and First Responders

Jeremy Stalnecker of The Mighty Oaks Foundation shared the organization's work with active duty, veterans, wounded warriors, and first responders who struggle with trauma, addiction, PTSD, and other issues.