Hope for the Caregiver

A Funny Thing Happened At the Doctor’s Office

You ever struggled to hold your tongue while answering questions at the doctor's office?

Gracie's been treated by more than 100 physicians - and we've had our share of exasperating and hilarious moments. In this episode from the broadcast, I share one that fits both categories! 

Then I follow it up with the 3 P's to use when dealing with physicians. 

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Do the Next Right Thing

If caregivers mapped out a decision tree for our daily lives, it would look like a forest. Each day we’re faced with numerous choices – and most seem filled with unpleasant outcomes. Sometimes the decisions before us have a paralyzing effect, and we don’t know what to do next.

 

In those moments, we serve ourselves well to choose the next right thing as our action step. The big problems become more approachable when our heads and hearts calm down.

 

For that to happen, our decisions require “reduction.”

 

Unlike the giant single unpleasant task of “eating the elephant one bite at a time,” decision reduction helps us focus by redirecting our eyes from the myriad of choices to the micro-steps in our path. Maybe the next right thing is to drink some water, sit down with a bowl of soup, take a nap or even go on a walk. Although the problem usually remains, we tackle it better with a calmer and more disciplined mind.

 

When offered this path, we invariably know the next right thing to do; we just usually need permission – not from others but ourselves.

 

The Bible supports this when affirming that God’s word is “…a lamp unto my feet.” 

 

It’s a lamp – not a searchlight. Do the next right thing – with the light provided.

 

“Not until we are lost do we being to understand ourselves.”- Henry David Thoreau.   

 

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Translating the Gospel

I met Jon and Cindi Hampshire more than 40 years ago at Columbia Bible College (Now Columbia International University). https://www.ciu.edu/ 

The Hampshires work for Wycliffe Bible Translators and have served the Democratic Republic of Congo for 30+ years.

They didn't know it, but I based much of my outreach to caregivers on their model at Wycliffe Bible Translators. I invited them to the program to share their life, work, and journey of trusting God - even when they lost everything when they had to once flee the country they served. 

https://wycliffe.org/partner/Hampshire 

Jon and Cindi Hampshire became Wycliffe members in 1988 and serve with SIL Eastern Congo Group - supporting the work of Bible translation in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Jon serves as branch director, overseeing the work of Bible translation, literacy, and scripture engagement in the DRC. Cindi serves as prayer coordinator for the branch and works in finance as well. They now reside in Bunia, a town located in the east of the country where their office is located. Jon and Cindi are excited to see Bible translation move forward in the Congo, and to see Congolese believers hold key leadership positions in the Bible translation movement. Please prayerfully consider joining their Wycliffe ministry team through prayer and/or financial part

The Loss of Independence, Isolation, and The Loss of Identity

Every caregiver - and I do mean EVERY caregiver will struggle with what I call the "3 I's." 

We lose our independence, we become isolated, and we lose our identity. 

During my ten years on the air, I've discussed these things often - and felt a refresher for myself was in order. 

I go into further detail in my book Hope for the Caregiver. 

www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/books 

Please share this episode with as many as possible ...all too many caregivers struggle in isolation, and this episode will help them learn how to push back against that isolation, as well as the loss of identity and independence. 

If you find this podcast meaningful, please consider supporting it at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving 

 

 

Facing Our Giants

Before the famous altercation with Goliath, when David expressed anger at the blasphemous giant, one of his embarrassed older brothers camped at the battle scene furiously derided him. But King Saul heard about David, and astonishingly, the king allowed the teenager to fight Goliath. Saul even put his tunic and armor on him. Saul was a tall man, but David wasn't, and the king's armor didn't fit. Struggling to function in the ill-fitting battle garb, David removed it and faced Goliath his way – depending upon God's might. David recognized he couldn't succeed while wearing something that didn't fit him. How many try to "conquer a Goliath" while wearing something that doesn't fit? The conditions of our loved ones serve as formidable giants to us, and we can't fight them while trying to be, do, and act like something that doesn't fit us. David faced Goliath with his familiar sling – and his even more familiar trust in God's abilities. While not a trained soldier, David’s love and trust provided the courage to face a giant. Most of us aren't trained medical professionals - and don't have to be. When facing our giants, we can be ourselves and, with love and trust, remain confident that the battle is the Lord's. “And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord's” – 1 Samuel 17:47 (KJV)

Caregivers In the Kingdom of Tonga

My longtime friend, Lynn Vander Woude Aho joined me from across the world in the South Pacific Kingdom of Tonga. She regularly listens to the program there and uses information from this program to help caregivers in Tonga. 

As she shares her heart and passion for ministry and missions, I am confident you will be touched and inspired by Lynn's story.

www.hopeforthecaregiver.com 

Knowing When Or When Not To Act

In trauma, the clock is the adversary, but in caregiving, it's the calendar. While emergencies demand an immediate response, quick actions for caregivers often result in several battles on multiple fronts. Nothing stretches a caregiver too thin like rushing to a crisis- while already embroiled in one.

"Oh, yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely and died very quickly." - Don Diego to Alejandro in The Mask of Zorro.

In the long journey of caregiving, caregivers benefit from incorporating "discretionary valor." For many caregivers (including me), the default is to hurl ourselves or our opinions recklessly at situations that require neither. Being still often takes enormous discipline and is its own form of bravery. Although some may not recognize it, knowing when to - or when not to - act often reflects extraordinary wisdom and courage. It's hard to "stay at one's post" when it seems everything is falling apart. Yet one's mettle is often tested by not interfering when things get dicey. Sometimes, others need to experience failure in order to grow. Hampering that experience inhibits their growth.

Although not often valued, discretionary valor remains one of the most critical attributes a caregiver can utilize. While soldiers receive medals reflecting bravery under duress, our medals for discretionary valor appear differently. Our awards reflect peace of mind, less drama, and a good night's sleep.

"Don't just do something, stand there!" - Unknown