Hope for the Caregiver

Impact of Opioids on Family Caregivers

When a loved one takes opioids - even when prescribed and as ordered - what is the impact on the family caregiver?

If you find these posts meaningful, please help us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving 

And The Critics Say ...

In an emotional phone call, a friend shared the recent criticism while struggling to care for her husband. Already reeling from significant heartache resulting from her husband’s condition, the scolding rocked her. 

“You should’ve done _______.

All too many spectators of caregivers often feel empowered to offer “advice” to those shouldering the challenges of caregiving. Sometimes non-caregivers bypass advice and go straight to criticizing. I suppose it saves time.

As a rule, the best opinions to heed usually come from those possessing training and education relating to the impairment of your loved one. Thirty-five years as a caregiver has taught me an additional rule:  the best counsel regarding your journey as a caregiver often comes from those with credible experience. 

There remains no shortage of opinions from those not doing the work. Those criticisms, if allowed, can wound the soul of a caregiver struggling to do her best.

When tempted to allow critics to assess your value as a caregiver by job performance, be fair and look at your attendance record. You keep showing up to care. Critics only show up to judge.

____________________________________________________________

Thank you for listening to our podcast. Help us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving 

 

Rushing to The Side Of An Injured Soul

Famed anthropologist Margaret Mead shared that "…the first sign of civilization is compassion, seen in a healed femur." She backed her claim by explaining the amount of time and compassion from the tribe or community required to care for that individual – until able to resume normal activities.

"’ Survival of the fittest doesn’t include healed femurs.”

Caregivers live with significant injuries, as well. Injuries of the soul – that can cripple a person.  Anyone who’s cared for a chronically impaired loved one cannot recover from such an experience without compassionate help from others. Just as we would rush to someone with a broken leg and respect the time needed for convalescence, caregivers need others to run their side, as well.

For many caregivers, trauma can extend far beyond a funeral. While many people are nice to caregivers, being nice is a learned behavior – not a sign of character. During and in the aftermath of caregiving, family caregivers need (and deserve) more than “nice.”  They cry out for compassion and grace – and it may take a while.

Offering compassion and grace helps heal a caregiver – while simultaneously deepening the hearts of the ones extending those mercies.

“Teach me to feel another's woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me.” – Alexander Pope

To help sponsor Hope for the Caregiver, visit www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving 

Medicine and Ministry - The New Program At CIU

Dr. Jill McElhenny of Columbia International University (www.CIU.edu) discussed the new Bachelor of Nursing program.  A practicing nurse for nearly a quarter of a century, Dr. McElhenny brings her vast experience and training to lead this program for CIU. 

CIU Associate Provost Dr. Brian Simmons says, "...McElheny is a perfect fit for CIU's Christian mission and core values."

Echoing the strong ministry emphasis, Dr. McElhenny stated that she considers nursing "a sacred calling." 

With the program available online to qualified candidates, it represents a substantial opportunity for those RN's desiring to obtain their Bachelor's, and it further CIU "s strong mission's emphasis of "To Know Him and Make Him Known."

For more information visit, https://ciu.edu/online-degrees/undergraduate/bachelor-science/nursing-rn-bsn 

Playing This Song Slower Forever Changed It For Me

From our national broadcast 10/23/2021.

HopeForTheCaregiver.com 

 

Honoring an Abusive, Alcoholic Father

A caller named Bill once shared on our program for caregivers that his father was an abusive alcoholic for years. Now, Bill's father’s had a stroke and requires extensive care - but sadly still drinks. Bill went on to say that he’s although he’s over 50 with a wife and kids, he still feels like a terrified 9-year-old when he’s around his father.

Bill’s father made his own decisions – decisions that evidently did not involve a recovery plan.

I shared with Bill that he can only do his best, but his family needs the 50-year-old version of BILL —not the 9-year-old one. Bill’s well-being remains paramount to his family. To be blunt, his father’s well-being, while desirable, does not. Although it sounds harsh, the reality is Bill’s father may not make it, but Bill must. I commended Bill for working to ensure his father’s safety and care despite the trauma that man caused. But I also cautioned Bill on the importance of securing his own care and well-being by attending a recovery program for family members of alcoholics and even counseling. Honoring your mother father does not mean honoring alcoholism, addiction …or even abuse.

Caregiver Authority

CAREGIVER AUTHORITY

Weary of condescension from a physician years ago regarding my wife’s condition, I leveled my gaze at him and stated, “With all due respect, Doc – I was taking care of her when you were in junior high school. So how about we keep this in perspective?’

We may not know .the science, but we know our loved one. That knowledge and experience provides us with something I coined “Caregiver Authority.” Quality practitioners recognize the benefit of enlisting our hard-won insights.  After dealing with 100+ physicians and countless nurses, I learned years ago that training doesn’t make one a better human being - it simply provides a skill set. Sadly (for some), those skill sets can elevate a sense of importance. Part of our job as caregivers is to advocate – and sometimes that means standing up to people who are dismissive or look down upon others.

It’s uncomfortable to wield caregiver authority, but if we don’t, what are the consequences? If we’re wrong, then we apologize and make amends to the best of our abilities. If they’re wrong, the consequences are far more dire.

“So on we go, His welfare is of my concern.”- from He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother