Episodes
Wednesday Sep 21, 2022
Hope for the Caregiver Broadcast 09-17-2022
Wednesday Sep 21, 2022
Wednesday Sep 21, 2022
From our nationally syndicated broadcast for family caregivers 09-17-2022
For more, visit www,hopeforthecaregiver.com
Wednesday Aug 10, 2022
Knowing When Or When Not To Act
Wednesday Aug 10, 2022
Wednesday Aug 10, 2022
In trauma, the clock is the adversary, but in caregiving, it's the calendar. While emergencies demand an immediate response, quick actions for caregivers often result in several battles on multiple fronts. Nothing stretches a caregiver too thin like rushing to a crisis- while already embroiled in one.
"Oh, yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely and died very quickly." - Don Diego to Alejandro in The Mask of Zorro.
In the long journey of caregiving, caregivers benefit from incorporating "discretionary valor." For many caregivers (including me), the default is to hurl ourselves or our opinions recklessly at situations that require neither. Being still often takes enormous discipline and is its own form of bravery. Although some may not recognize it, knowing when to - or when not to - act often reflects extraordinary wisdom and courage. It's hard to "stay at one's post" when it seems everything is falling apart. Yet one's mettle is often tested by not interfering when things get dicey. Sometimes, others need to experience failure in order to grow. Hampering that experience inhibits their growth.
Although not often valued, discretionary valor remains one of the most critical attributes a caregiver can utilize. While soldiers receive medals reflecting bravery under duress, our medals for discretionary valor appear differently. Our awards reflect peace of mind, less drama, and a good night's sleep.
"Don't just do something, stand there!" - Unknown
Tuesday Aug 02, 2022
A Box Of Things That God Will Have To Redeem
Tuesday Aug 02, 2022
Tuesday Aug 02, 2022
A frustration point for many family caregivers lies in unmet expectations, hopes, and dreams. We often visualize what could be – but things beyond our control are roadblocks. Ashamedly, I admit attempting control and trying to force things on more than one occasion – only to frustrate myself, my wife, and (many) others. Letting go of those hopes and expectations, however, can be painful. Over the last few years, I've tried a different approach. In my mind, I envision a rather large container I call "The Box of Things That God Will Have to Redeem."
Offloading those items, losses, heartaches, and disappointment to God reduces my angst and the potential for resentment.
For me, the box is genuine and reflects my faith that God will indeed redeem each of those things - He's better at carrying them than me. Saying that "…God will have to redeem" does not demand the Almighty to act; it simply recognizes that He alone has the power to do so. Of course, the temptation to retrieve items and stew on them often grips me. Yet I can affirm that each time I place them back in the box, I grow less tempted to dwell on them.
Letting go of what is impossible to carry helps me live more peacefully with things I can't change.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4 (KJV)
Thursday May 26, 2022
Caregivers and the No Huddle Offense
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
As a caregiver, do you ever feel you are pushing yourself in the "No Huddle Offense" and not taking time to build a plan - all while the "clock" serves as your enemy?
Well, I know I do. So I talked about this in today's episode.
If you find our podcast meaningful, please consider helping us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving
Tuesday May 17, 2022
They Raised Two Children With Huntington’s Disease
Tuesday May 17, 2022
Tuesday May 17, 2022
May Is HD Awareness month, and our guests for this episode were Drs. Elton and Laquita Higgs. The couple adopted a little girl many years ago - who developed Huntington's Disease (HD). One of the most horrific diseases on the planet, HD eventually cost their daughter her life - but not before she had a daughter who also developed the genetic (and terminal) illness.
Listen to their inspiring and insightful story - from their book, SHATTERED DREAMS - BUT HOPE: Encouragement for Caregivers of Huntington’s Disease and Other Progressive Illnesses
For more information on HD, please visit HDSA.org (The Huntington’s Disease Society of America)
Saturday May 14, 2022
Not Making It Worse Counts As A Win
Saturday May 14, 2022
Saturday May 14, 2022
As caregivers, we regularly feel intense pressure to fix or achieve. Yet, despite our best efforts, many of the circumstances we face seem unyielding. Our self-judgment over things beyond our control often leads to an incorrect verdict of failure.
Taking a step away from the caregiving world, consider the “Slap heard around the world” at the 2022 Academy Awards. When Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock on stage in front of a global audience, Chris Rock responded with extraordinary restraint. Maintaining his composure, Chris Rock continued with the show and walked away with nearly universal approval because he didn’t worsen an awful situation. Not only did he handle himself well on stage, but in the ensuing media frenzy, he remained quiet about the event. Rock chose to address the incident on his timing – when temperatures cool.
As caregivers, we regularly face situations that often tempt or provoke us to intense emotional reactions. Taking a page from Chris Rock, we can incorporate a simple strategy into often uncontrollable experiences: Not making it worse, counts as a win!
When we restrain our emotions and master our response to any given circumstances, we live a bit calmer and can add more victories to the “win column.”
“Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint.” - Daniel Webster
If you find out podcast meaningful, please help us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving
Monday May 09, 2022
Fret Not
Monday May 09, 2022
Monday May 09, 2022
Fretting Is Exhausting
My high school chemistry teacher’s name was, no kidding, Mr. Faile. While a hilarious and exceptional teacher, he made the dreaded (for some) class even more daunting by posting a sign over the chalkboard that read, “Flunk Now and Avoid The Rush.”
For those born after 1980, a chalkboard was an ancient education device that doubled as a screeching torture machine.
That sign still sticks with me, and I’ve appropriated the message into other areas of my life – particularly as a caregiver. Accepting reality and not delaying the inevitable becomes a path of wisdom rather than a depressing conclusion. As caregivers, we place unreasonable demands on ourselves to achieve or alter things we cannot change.
Despite extensive striving and colossal anxiety, caregivers will inevitably “flunk” at changing most of what we worry about. Embracing that premise allows greater peace of mind today.
I passed high school chemistry (barely), but Mr. Faile’s most important lesson to me had nothing to do with formulas and equations. A simple sign meant in jest communicated a greater truth that still helps bleed off stress – a lifetime later.
Rest now and avoid the crash. We face challenges better when not exhausted by fretting.
“The pitcher has got only a ball. I've got a bat. So the percentage in weapons is in my favor and I let the fellow with the ball do the fretting.” – Hank Aaron
If you find our podcast and broadcast meaningful, please help us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving