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330Episodes
Health & Fitness

With Peter Rosenberger

Episodes

"I'm going to swerve into something today that I've been stewing on for a while ..."

That's how we started the July 20, 2019 show, and we tackled families struggling with addiction (alcoholism).
I said to a young man recently, "Honour thy father and thy mother.." (Exodus 12:20) DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO HONOR THE IMPAIRMENT!

When dealing with an addiction issue, family members all too often (and sadly) place themselves in bondage trying to enable.

The disease of addiction is a family disease, and will take everyone with it ...if allowed. Alzheimer's has no mercy ...and will crush everyone around an impaired loved one  ...if allowed.  Caregivers will sadly take so much abuse into their heart as they listen to a disease speak with the voice of a someone they love. 

But it's  the disease, not your mother, father, spouse, etc.!

Yet, so many struggle, often painfully, with tremendous sense of guilt while mistakenly honoring a disease or impairment instead of the parent or loved one.

We spend a good bit of time on this issue in today's show. Share this show with someone you know who is struggling with this. 

if you're in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction/alcoholism, here is a helpful resource. 

https://al-anon.org/

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Hope for the Caregiver from May 18 2019. All too often, I've grasped at things to fret over and try to manage that are simply not mine. I delude myself into thinking that I have to do things that belong to my wife, her doctors, or even God.

The line gets a bit gray for me at times ( how gray? Charcoal!) and that's why I need others to help be better see the path.

Caregivers get easily lost in the journey. Callers to this episode virtually all struggled with being disoriented. From enabling and codependency to grief, we tackle a wide range of challenges.

That's why we do this show. We pull together and point each other to safety.

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“I’m tired, depressed, and angry.”

That’s how the conversation started with a caller in Oklahoma who called our show, Hope for the Caregiver

Digging a bit deeper, she revealed that she is the youngest child (56) caring for her mother who has dementia. She has an older brother who is a drug addict, but this caller feels he was coddled and enabled by her mother for years. Her father passed away years ago but was himself an abusive alcoholic.

Burdened with resentment as she cared for her mother while feeling threatened by her abusive and addicted brother, the caller reached the end of her rope. Although she owned the home where her mother stayed, her brother threatened her repeatedly and wouldn’t leave the property while Paula tried to care for her. Asking why she didn’t get a restraining order, she replied that legal advice told her that she had to give him proper notice, and she continued to dance around the issue of confronting her brother. Then, our caller also revealed that her brother was a felon who also had a shotgun. Inquiring about her reporting him to authorities, she resisted even though she tearfully stated, “I’m living on the edge. It’s like living with my dad—he was so abusive like my brother.”

Through sobs, she admitted that she felt afraid to report him to the authorities, even though he as an addict and felon in possession of a shotgun—because her brother threatened to expose something about her.

“I used to be a lesbian and he’s threatening to bring all that out.”

She went on to share that she is a born-again Christian and no longer a lesbian, but her brother threatened her with exposing what she referred to as her “checkered past.” Understanding the core issue, I gently said, “Let me tell you something about our Savior.”

“There is nothing that you have done that Christ is going to bring up and start labeling you. That comes straight from Satan. In fact, the name ‘Satan’ means accuser.” Charles Spurgeon once stated that when “we stand before God we stand as Christ —because Christ stood before God as us.”

Hearing sniffles through the phone line, I added, “I want you to hang on to that thought for a minute. Do you understand that you have a Savior who took on every bit of your checkered past and sexual brokenness and bore it? You are not being blackmailed with anything because you have a Savior who is your advocate now.”

“Your brother is messed up. He is dangerous. You’re trying to honor your mother and father—although your father was a drunk and abusive—you’re still trying to do the right thing. But you’re going to have bring in some hired help—and that’s law enforcement. Let’s get you to safety.”

Advising her to call the local police, I reiterated to her that a felon with a drug problem and firearm is a game changer. Her safety was more important than any damage her brother may do to her reputation. Although fearfully (and tearfully), she agreed to do so.
This caller, and many more like her, live with legitimate danger.
Calling a radio show for caregivers, she learned more about the love of Christ. The shame of her sin kept her perilously close to a dangerous situation. Yet, she left the call with a greater understanding of salvation, redemption, and the love of God.

This is why we have a show for family caregivers.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

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How would you feel if your adult child (30+) lived at home with debilitating migraines?

Caller from Mississippi shared her frustration at her daughter's challenges ...and behaviors. From what she describes in this call, the problem has expanded to addiction and other behavior issues. 

Caregivers can easily fall into the trap of enablers. Lost in what I call the FOG of caregivers (Fear Obligation Guilt), we can easily veer off the road into dangerous situations. 

There is a path to safety ...but we're not going to find it alone. 

That's why we have a show for family caregivers! 

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