Episodes
Friday May 13, 2022
The Trauma of Veterans, Active Duty, And First Responders
Friday May 13, 2022
Friday May 13, 2022
In my recent interview with Mighty Oaks Foundation's Jeremy Stalnecker, we discussed ways the organization is addressing the intense needs of those who wore - and wear - the uniform. https://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/
"The Mighty Oaks Foundation is committed to serving the brokenhearted by providing intensive peer-based discipleship through a series of programs, outpost meetings, and speaking events. Our Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs hosts such Men, Women, and Marriage Advance Programs at multiple locations nationwide. The Warriors who attend are fully sponsored for training, meals, and lodging needs to ensure that upon arrival to the ranch, each Warrior is focused solely on his or her recovery and identifying purpose moving forward."
Wednesday May 04, 2022
Helping Struggling Soldiers and First Responders
Wednesday May 04, 2022
Wednesday May 04, 2022
Jeremy Stalnecker of The Mighty Oaks Foundation shared the organization's work with active duty, veterans, wounded warriors, and first responders who struggle with trauma, addiction, PTSD, and other issues.
Friday Nov 12, 2021
Her Happiness is Not Your Responsibility
Friday Nov 12, 2021
Friday Nov 12, 2021
"My 93-year-old mother doesn’t suffer from dementia but is so mean to me. How do I make her happy while caring for her? I’ve been sober for 6 years, and she makes me want to start drinking again."
Terri in Texas called the radio program with an all too common problem: "How do I make her happy?"
Answering Terri on the air, I shared that, "Your responsibility is not to make your mother happy, but to work your sobriety program. Your mother can get happy in the same shoes she gets mad in! Your responsibility is to call your sponsor and continue staying sober. If you lose your sobriety, your mother gets a drunk caregiver and that will make all of it worse. Call your sponsor and go to a meeting."
"Strength of mind rests in sobriety; for this keeps your reason unclouded by passion.." - Pythagoras
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Thursday Nov 11, 2021
Patriots Standing In the Gap
Thursday Nov 11, 2021
Thursday Nov 11, 2021
A recent caller to my radios program shared her journey as a caregiver. Combat-related PTSD led her military son down some dark paths—including drugs and alcohol, and his family disintegrated. This grandmother found herself with an impaired son and vulnerable grandchildren. When considering the word “caregiver,” most think of caring for the elderly. Yet many kinds of caregivers exist—and each of them bears their own sadness and difficulties. It is often stated that soldiers leave a part of themselves on the battlefield. Sometimes, caregivers work to compensate for those missing pieces as they care for the seen and unseen wounds of injured servicemen and women. While our military is composed of those who volunteer to don the uniform, an additional and less visible army of volunteers exists. Those volunteers are family caregivers who stand in the gap for wounded warriors—and often their families. Their acts of devotion not only serve their loved ones but also honor this great nation.
There is much more to being a patriot and citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag. – Jesse Ventura
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
Honoring an Abusive, Alcoholic Father
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
A caller named Bill once shared on our program for caregivers that his father was an abusive alcoholic for years. Now, Bill's father’s had a stroke and requires extensive care - but sadly still drinks. Bill went on to say that he’s although he’s over 50 with a wife and kids, he still feels like a terrified 9-year-old when he’s around his father.
Bill’s father made his own decisions – decisions that evidently did not involve a recovery plan.
I shared with Bill that he can only do his best, but his family needs the 50-year-old version of BILL —not the 9-year-old one. Bill’s well-being remains paramount to his family. To be blunt, his father’s well-being, while desirable, does not. Although it sounds harsh, the reality is Bill’s father may not make it, but Bill must. I commended Bill for working to ensure his father’s safety and care despite the trauma that man caused. But I also cautioned Bill on the importance of securing his own care and well-being by attending a recovery program for family members of alcoholics and even counseling. Honoring your mother father does not mean honoring alcoholism, addiction …or even abuse.
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
Resistance Is Inevitable
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
While boundaries remain critical to healthy relationships, they sometimes develop on faulty information or impaired thinking. Caregivers inevitably collide with such boundaries while caring for loved ones. These flawed boundaries may look like resisting rehab for injuries and/or addiction issues, refusing medications, respecting others’ time, or a whole host of other issues.
Confronting those disputes requires deftness and wisdom from caregivers—particularly when a loved one is “dug in” behind years of stubbornness. Sometimes, all that’s needed is to clearly explain consequences of behaviors.
But when confronting someone with addiction or impairment issues for example, all many caregivers can do is provide buffers to minimize the damage while remaining at safe distances as circumstances deteriorate. In other cases, a caregiver must often bite her tongue and learn to like the taste of blood as a loved one experiences the outcome of stubbornness.
Trying to force a solution against the will or boundaries of another usually ends in conflict and failure. Despite resistance or even desired results, we can learn to be at peace with our powerlessness over others’ boundaries—and instead focus on maintaining our own.
www.hopeforthecaregiver.com
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
It Is No Secret
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
Sometimes the simplest phrase from a song serves as a source of help, comfort, and strength. In this episode (from our nationally syndicated broadcast) we talked about this song and how caregivers can appropriate it in our lives.