Episodes
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Harsh Judgment
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Interviewing a couple who raised two children with Huntington’s disease (HD) on my program, they relayed a heartbreaking story where they stood before a judge who clearly didn’t understand the nature of HD. After repeated arrests for shoplifting, violent behavior, and other issues, the judge commented from the bench that she felt this was a result of “bad parenting.” Unable to address the court or defend themselves, the couple simply shared, “…we had to take it on the chin.”
A five-minute search or phone call by the judge would have provided a bigger picture of the nature of this horrific disease that brutalizes both patient and their caregivers. Sadly, the judge chose to go with a uniformed decision – and a regrettable lack of compassion.
While the judge’s comments remain grievous, how many caregivers “don the black robe” and make harsh and ill-informed pronouncements upon themselves while looking in the mirror? Countless caregivers spend way too much time condemning themselves for the out-of-control behavior of someone else. Whatever we wish for that judge to have said to this broken and despairing couple, we would benefit from posting that same message on our own bathroom mirrors.
“I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.” – Abraham Lincoln
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Thursday May 26, 2022
Caregivers and the No Huddle Offense
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
As a caregiver, do you ever feel you are pushing yourself in the "No Huddle Offense" and not taking time to build a plan - all while the "clock" serves as your enemy?
Well, I know I do. So I talked about this in today's episode.
If you find our podcast meaningful, please consider helping us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving
Tuesday May 17, 2022
They Raised Two Children With Huntington’s Disease
Tuesday May 17, 2022
Tuesday May 17, 2022
May Is HD Awareness month, and our guests for this episode were Drs. Elton and Laquita Higgs. The couple adopted a little girl many years ago - who developed Huntington's Disease (HD). One of the most horrific diseases on the planet, HD eventually cost their daughter her life - but not before she had a daughter who also developed the genetic (and terminal) illness.
Listen to their inspiring and insightful story - from their book, SHATTERED DREAMS - BUT HOPE: Encouragement for Caregivers of Huntington’s Disease and Other Progressive Illnesses
For more information on HD, please visit HDSA.org (The Huntington’s Disease Society of America)
Friday May 13, 2022
The Trauma of Veterans, Active Duty, And First Responders
Friday May 13, 2022
Friday May 13, 2022
In my recent interview with Mighty Oaks Foundation's Jeremy Stalnecker, we discussed ways the organization is addressing the intense needs of those who wore - and wear - the uniform. https://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/
"The Mighty Oaks Foundation is committed to serving the brokenhearted by providing intensive peer-based discipleship through a series of programs, outpost meetings, and speaking events. Our Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs hosts such Men, Women, and Marriage Advance Programs at multiple locations nationwide. The Warriors who attend are fully sponsored for training, meals, and lodging needs to ensure that upon arrival to the ranch, each Warrior is focused solely on his or her recovery and identifying purpose moving forward."
Monday May 09, 2022
Fret Not
Monday May 09, 2022
Monday May 09, 2022
Fretting Is Exhausting
My high school chemistry teacher’s name was, no kidding, Mr. Faile. While a hilarious and exceptional teacher, he made the dreaded (for some) class even more daunting by posting a sign over the chalkboard that read, “Flunk Now and Avoid The Rush.”
For those born after 1980, a chalkboard was an ancient education device that doubled as a screeching torture machine.
That sign still sticks with me, and I’ve appropriated the message into other areas of my life – particularly as a caregiver. Accepting reality and not delaying the inevitable becomes a path of wisdom rather than a depressing conclusion. As caregivers, we place unreasonable demands on ourselves to achieve or alter things we cannot change.
Despite extensive striving and colossal anxiety, caregivers will inevitably “flunk” at changing most of what we worry about. Embracing that premise allows greater peace of mind today.
I passed high school chemistry (barely), but Mr. Faile’s most important lesson to me had nothing to do with formulas and equations. A simple sign meant in jest communicated a greater truth that still helps bleed off stress – a lifetime later.
Rest now and avoid the crash. We face challenges better when not exhausted by fretting.
“The pitcher has got only a ball. I've got a bat. So the percentage in weapons is in my favor and I let the fellow with the ball do the fretting.” – Hank Aaron
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Sunday Apr 24, 2022
Respect The Trauma
Sunday Apr 24, 2022
Sunday Apr 24, 2022
From Hope for the Caregiver's national broadcast 04-23-2022
Let’s face it; many people don’t know what to say when encountering someone struggling with divorce, broken relationships, a tragedy, or other painful realities.
Just put it behind you; Don’t look in the rearview mirror; That’s in the past.
While sounding like good advice to keep moving forward, there are times when acknowledging the magnitude of someone’s heartache is appropriate – and “sifting through the mess” and assessing the destruction is required. Recovery takes time, and part of the process involves meticulously inspecting the damage. Any insurance adjuster who’s visited a client following a devastating flood, fire, or tornado will affirm the importance of an exhaustive appraisal of the damage before rebuilding.
Many caregivers painfully discover that the journey doesn’t end at the cemetery. In some instances, the aftereffects of caregiving can last a lifetime. All too many caregivers can attest to the lasting impact of caring for an impaired loved one, and more studies are needed to show the PTSD statistics of family caregivers,
Trained professionals along with loving family and friends can help caregivers navigate a path to healing. However, the first step always involves thoroughly inspecting – and respecting – the trauma.
We’ve got to rebuild human hearts – and persuade people that hope isn’t just possible, but essential. – Tony Snow
If you find our podcast meaningful, please help support this ministry at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com
Friday Apr 15, 2022
Immeasurable Cost
Friday Apr 15, 2022
Friday Apr 15, 2022
Immeasurable Cost
A close pastor friend of mine called me after burying his beloved dog. While digging the hole, he wept while angrily reflecting on how much he hated death. The conversation turned to the countless funerals he presided over during his ministry – I played the piano for many of those services. We talked a bit longer about some of the cherished families we ministered to during those funerals, and we discussed our shared anger at death. Then he said something that's never left me.
"Do you know who hates death more?"
"God hates death," he stated quietly.
Pausing, he then added, "He hates it so much that he took it upon Himself to provide a way to defeat death."
When Jesus stood at his friend Lazarus' grave, John 11:38 shares He was "…deeply moved." Some translations state that anger welled up in Jesus—anger at death.
Mere weeks after standing at Lazarus' grave, on what we celebrate as Easter Sunday, Jesus indeed conquered death, but at immeasurable cost to Himself.
“Please - Aslan,” said Lucy, “can anything be done to save Edmund?” “All shall be done,” said Aslan. “But it may be harder than you think.” – C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.