Episodes
Sunday Dec 22, 2019
8 Christmas Gifts Caregivers Can Give Themselves
Sunday Dec 22, 2019
Sunday Dec 22, 2019
There's still time ...for you as a caregiver ...to give yourself gifts.
From My Commentary in the Chicago Tribune:
For family caregivers, the normal stresses and challenges experienced by most during the holiday season can be amplified exponentially. Rather than enjoying the season, many caring for chronically impaired loved ones settle for enduring the holidays.
“It may be our last time …” weighs heavy on the minds of many caregivers. And, while trying to meet a loved one’s expectations, many caregivers end up sacrificing their own peace of mind at the altar of nostalgia.
Sadly, an overwhelming number of caregivers wearily mutter a “thank God it’s over” each Jan. 2.
The magic of Christmas can quickly disappear when you’re being cursed at while changing an adult diaper. Christmas Eve in the ER is no picnic. Neither is dealing with a family member with the chronic impairment of addiction. Wrapping presents for someone who can’t remember your name doesn’t usually inspire a sudden desire to sing carols.
These scenarios and more represent the reality for millions of Americans who put themselves between a vulnerable loved one and a potential disaster.
Is there holiday joy for caregivers?
While requiring some creativity, the short answer is “yes!”
Here are ways caregivers can reintroduce some festive spirit into their weary hearts and bodies
Read the entire commentary in the Chicago Tribune.
Tuesday Dec 10, 2019
Are you "sowing in tears?" This this episode is for you!
Tuesday Dec 10, 2019
Tuesday Dec 10, 2019
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him. - Psalm 125:5-6
Are you sowing in tears? What does that even mean to us a caregivers. Take a listen to this episode as we unpack this Scripture and talk about it in the context of serving as a family caregiver.
Autism, Alzheimer's ...Addiction: There's always a caregiver.
Whenever you find someone with a chronic impairment, you always find a caregiver. That's why we do the show.
This episode is from our December 7 show and features, callers and a special song from Gracie. Her recently released CD is titled Resilient.
For a tax deductible contribution to Standing With Hope ( the presenting sponsor of this show) for any amount, we will send you Gracie's CD as our gift to you!.
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
Caller states he is the patient, caregiver, and addict ...all wrapped into one, and is miserable. But he doesn't want any of the things we point him to on this show. Then, he pivots and wants to tell a joke ...and gets mad at me for not laughing.
Listen to see if you like the joke. Clearly, according to this caller, I just don't have a sense of humor.
Saturday Nov 09, 2019
Friendly Fire and the Family Caregiver
Saturday Nov 09, 2019
Saturday Nov 09, 2019
During one of our many visits to Walter Reed Army Medical Center to meet with wounded warriors, we met a bitter young soldier struggling with wounds he received from friendly fire. In a terrible mistake, he suffered injuries from his own country’s military.
As my wife, Gracie, walked over to greet him, he rudely snapped at her. Lying on his back while working out on a physical therapy table, he could only see Gracie from the waist up. This young man had no idea of her seventy plus operations, or the loss of both of her own legs. The physical therapist working with him looked embarrassed, and quickly tried to cover for Gracie by telling the young man that she was welcome there–and had a lot of practical advice worth hearing.
Disbelieving the therapist, he snarled back hatefully. Momentarily stunned, she regained her composure, and, while holding on to a railing, propped her right prosthetic leg near where his head rested on the low workout table.
He not only noticed her state-of-the-art metal leg beside him (encased in a beautiful shoe, I might add), but his eyes turned to watch her balancing on her other artificial leg, as well.
“You’re not the only amputee in here, big guy.” Gracie said, while looking him squarely in the eye.
The soldier in him quietly nodded at her, and he didn’t say anything else.
Ten feet away, I listened to a man who, although he lost both legs, cracked jokes with a contagious sense of humor. His face clouded over, however, when I pointedly asked him how things were back home.
Looking down at his new prosthetic legs, he whispered out, “My marriage is on the rocks, and it doesn’t look good.”
The loss of his legs didn’t keep him from joking, but the wounds of his heart silenced the laughter.
Friendly fire.
I asked another mother in the PT room if her son’s father had been up to the hospital. Looking over at her son’s newly amputated left leg, as well as the halo device holding the pins piercing his right leg, her jaw tightened as she flatly said, “He left years ago, and good riddance.”
Friendly fire.
How many of us deal with deep wounds caused by those closest to us? How many of us have caused damage to the ones we love and swore to protect? Sometimes “friendly fire” wounds are compounded with the shame of the wound itself—we feel our wounds come with dishonor, and our fists clench with a rage that wants to choke the one(s) who hurt us. Other times, we realize with horror how poorly we treated those counting on us, and the guilt and shame fill us with despair.
It’s easy to recall those things that cause hot tears to pour out of our eyes—the things driving us to lash out at the ones who hit us with “friendly fire.” In our pain, we might even strike at people who are simply trying to encourage us.
Gracie propped an artificial limb on a physical therapy table to help a hurting young man gain perspective and, hopefully, see that he can move past this horrific life-altering injury.
Christ is the wounded warrior who presents His own wounds, not only to communicate perspective, but also demonstrate His love for each of us. He didn’t just prop a metal leg on the table; He laid down His life and was Himself wounded—for our sins. His wounds made it possible for ours to be healed. He never clenched His fists, but rather stretched out his hands and received the nails.
When we look at our wounds, even those inflicted by our loved ones …or even self-inflicted, it’s all too easy to despair. But when we lift our eyes to look at HIS wounds, we are strengthened to know that HE redeemed our souls—and is redeeming our wounds.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
Sponsored by STANDING WITH HOPE
Thursday Nov 07, 2019
Medicare for All Y'all?!
Thursday Nov 07, 2019
Thursday Nov 07, 2019
A lot of candidates running for President advocate "Medicare for All" as part of their platform. While Medicare itself is a decent program, I spend a little time discussing the realities of dealing with Medicare ...from a customer service standpoint.
Gracie and I both had to call Medicare for a significant issue. Getting bounced around from department to department, we logged over four hours on the phone one day, and another 90 minutes the next.
It's still not resolved as of this posting (with another 4 hours logged).
Imagine your best day at the DMV. That's what happens when government is the only game in town. You simply have no competition ...no incentive...to provide better service.
At some point in the customer service path, someone has to say, "We can build a better mousetrap!"
When listening to the candidates speaking, it sounds like overhearing a meeting in the teacher's lounge, "Here's what I think we ought to do ..."
It would be helpful for these candidates to share their own personal (and credible) experience in dealing with the healthcare system. Experience is always better than opinion.
Also on this episode, we played a new song from Gracie's upcoming CD titled Resilient. I also shared a few "Gracie-isms" and how Gracie nearly broke Amazon's Alexa ...at the source!!
In addition we shared our "Caregiver Tip of the Day," and of course, we also had my sidekick, The Count of Mighty Disco - John Butler!!!
A jammed pack show, demonstrating why Hope for the Caregiver is the #1 broadcast show for family caregivers!
Monday Nov 04, 2019
"Don't Pass the Snowplow!"
Monday Nov 04, 2019
Monday Nov 04, 2019
Yes ...I know it feels like the snowplow driver is listening to Lawrence Welk while we listen to Led Zepplin, but in winter weather, the safest place is often the place where you feel it's going maddeningly slow.
That also applies to our journey as caregivers.
We find that we must move at a pace we can't control...and, just like trying to pass a snowplow, we run the risk of getting hurt if we try to circumvent.
A friend once told me, "Families move at the speed of their slowest members." When serving as a caregiver the "pace car" dictates how fast we're going to go. We're going to get there ...when we get there. Beating on our steering wheel, swearing, and/or spazzing out isn't going to make it better or faster, but it will cause unnecessary tension ...that robs us of living a calmer, healthier, and even safer life.
- Sometimes, the snowplow is a chronic illness that progresses.
- Sometimes, it's a special needs child that moves at his/her pace.
- Sometimes it's someone with a addiction that struggles in their recovery program.
- Sometimes it's grief that takes whatever time it needs to process it out.
In my 30+ years, I've discovered the pace set for me is simply living in the moment ...one day at a time.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34
Listen to the callers share their stories, as well. Also, of course, joining the show is himself ...my sidekick, John Butler (The Count of Mighty Disco)
"Don't pass the snowplow is our "Caregiver Tip of the Day" for this show. Hope for the Caregiver is LIVE on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel (131) at 6PM Eastern.
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Thursday Sep 12, 2019
Thursday Sep 12, 2019
Caller from Sunday's HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER on Sirius XM's Family Talk Channel shared how a tip from the show helped her recently.
Her ex-husband requires care, and she gave her son a respite in caring for him, but even through his dementia ...he still remembered to hate her.
Able to laugh, while learning to "bite her tongue and like the taste of blood," she shared how a small tip (the Delta Doctrine) from the show helped her get through an uncomfortable situation.
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