Episodes
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
Honoring an Abusive, Alcoholic Father
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
A caller named Bill once shared on our program for caregivers that his father was an abusive alcoholic for years. Now, Bill's father’s had a stroke and requires extensive care - but sadly still drinks. Bill went on to say that he’s although he’s over 50 with a wife and kids, he still feels like a terrified 9-year-old when he’s around his father.
Bill’s father made his own decisions – decisions that evidently did not involve a recovery plan.
I shared with Bill that he can only do his best, but his family needs the 50-year-old version of BILL —not the 9-year-old one. Bill’s well-being remains paramount to his family. To be blunt, his father’s well-being, while desirable, does not. Although it sounds harsh, the reality is Bill’s father may not make it, but Bill must. I commended Bill for working to ensure his father’s safety and care despite the trauma that man caused. But I also cautioned Bill on the importance of securing his own care and well-being by attending a recovery program for family members of alcoholics and even counseling. Honoring your mother father does not mean honoring alcoholism, addiction …or even abuse.
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
Resistance Is Inevitable
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
Saturday Oct 09, 2021
While boundaries remain critical to healthy relationships, they sometimes develop on faulty information or impaired thinking. Caregivers inevitably collide with such boundaries while caring for loved ones. These flawed boundaries may look like resisting rehab for injuries and/or addiction issues, refusing medications, respecting others’ time, or a whole host of other issues.
Confronting those disputes requires deftness and wisdom from caregivers—particularly when a loved one is “dug in” behind years of stubbornness. Sometimes, all that’s needed is to clearly explain consequences of behaviors.
But when confronting someone with addiction or impairment issues for example, all many caregivers can do is provide buffers to minimize the damage while remaining at safe distances as circumstances deteriorate. In other cases, a caregiver must often bite her tongue and learn to like the taste of blood as a loved one experiences the outcome of stubbornness.
Trying to force a solution against the will or boundaries of another usually ends in conflict and failure. Despite resistance or even desired results, we can learn to be at peace with our powerlessness over others’ boundaries—and instead focus on maintaining our own.
www.hopeforthecaregiver.com
Tuesday Jul 13, 2021
What Do You Say to The Suffering?
Tuesday Jul 13, 2021
Tuesday Jul 13, 2021
(From opening monologue on our national broadcast7/9/2021)
Ever found yourself the recipient of glib comments from church folks about your challenges? Admittedly, it's hard to know what to say to someone in distress or in messy situations. An incident in a dusty clinic in Ghana West Africa, forever altered the way I approach the challenging situations of others.
If you are enjoying this podcast and our nationally syndicated radio program, please help us add more radio stations by supporting this ministry.
https://hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving/
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
It Is No Secret
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
Saturday Jul 03, 2021
Sometimes the simplest phrase from a song serves as a source of help, comfort, and strength. In this episode (from our nationally syndicated broadcast) we talked about this song and how caregivers can appropriate it in our lives.
Tuesday May 04, 2021
Is Detachment Advisable?
Tuesday May 04, 2021
Tuesday May 04, 2021
Detaching from the poor conduct of an impaired loved one remains one of the toughest challenges for family caregivers. Sometimes the behavioral issues stem from chronic pain, dementia, pharmaceuticals or fear—maybe they’re just having a bad day. Regardless of why, we don’t have to take it personally—even if it sounds personal.
Monday Mar 15, 2021
Caregiver, Boundaries, and Addiction
Monday Mar 15, 2021
Monday Mar 15, 2021
Even if an alcoholic or addict is in recovery, addiction is chronic impairment - requiring a lifetime of pushing against it and working some sort of recovery program. Wherever one finds a chronic impairment, there's always a caregiver.
For those in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict (prescription or illicit drug use),, boundaries remain critical part of that caregiver's life. Caregivers have no power to change their loved one, but they can protect themselves ( and their belongings).
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/understanding-drug-use-addiction
Monday Mar 08, 2021
Broadcast Show03-06-2021
Monday Mar 08, 2021
Monday Mar 08, 2021
Starting with letters from a listener behind bars, we took calls on everything from the vaccine to dealing with grief.